A fresh start on April Fools Day!

Hello! *peeks out meekly* Uhm, after going through a nearly half a year-long hiatus, I'm kind of back? On April Fool's day. Well, the reason why I've been m.i.a for such a long period of time is because of well...personal reasons, school, life, laziness, procrastination, and uhm...I just wanted to take a break from blogging for awhile.

Let's see...after October...ah yes. That time I was in my second semester of my first year in polytechnic. I guess... well, I have to say that that semester was generally much better as compared to the previous semester, semester 1. Better modules overall, better groups, and my sem 2 GPA was much better than my sem 1 GPA. ^//^" [Rant about my GPA here :/][Hide]
I was happy, at first. I mean after all, my sem 2 GPA did meet my expectations, right? (GPA>3.5) However, when I saw my cumulative GPA, I became...disheartened. Like, from that gpa, it is going to be tough pulling it up to a satisfactory GPA by the time I graduate from polytechnic in order to enter one of the local universities here. I mean that is one of my goals in life, yeah. To be able to study in a local university! Sounds simple. But looking at my cumulative GPA, I kind of felt that...well. With all this intense competition from both the local and foreign students with all their high GPAs or excellent grades for the JC students, I felt like I wasn't going to stand a chance to secure a place for myself in the local unis. I'm saying this from a realist's point of view. That is, if I don't buck up my cumulative GPA in time.

Then, as I was happy over my grades for awhile, a sudden realization came upon me. If I was able to achieve this standard of grades...surely, surely my classmates could achieve the same, or better than my grades. And I was right. Like, some of them were already scoring 3.7< cumulative gpas. It's amazing how they can do so well only in their first year! Then, a few days back I discussed our results with a close secondary school (middle school) friend, who also entered another polytechnic. And...she told me that she lied to me. Back then when she told me her GPA (3.5) for the first sem, it was a lie. She told me that her gpa was actually 3.97, a near 4-pointer GPA for her first year.
I was shocked. Not so shocked that she lied to me; more shocked about her GPA. No, I'm not even shocked about her GPA, I was, I was more shocked by the fact that she seemed so far away from me!!! Why? When we first met, I was academically better than her in almost everything. But as we progressed on, she caught up to me, and surpassed me, and now she seemed so far away! Not only her, but my poly friends are also going further and further away from me.

I was lost. She told me the reason why she lied was because she did not want me to think too much about the difference between our GPAs. Which I did in the end. I guess, with my bad competitive nature, it was inevitable. After that conversation, I slumped to the floor, and I couldn't help but tear up. I just felt left behind. And everybody was all far ahead of me. Especially her.

But soon, I remembered that my life doesn't end there just because I cannot enter a local university. Sounds dramatic, but this was how I made myself stand up and push on foward. I know I will find a way through. Therefore, I stopped worrying so much about that, and just do what I can now. So far during the long, long holidays I've been enjoying, I...pretty much slacked at home. Sometimes I go out with my friends. I had planned to work, but I kept meeting up with my friends, and by the time I tried finding a suitable job that doesn't require experience (I'm a newbie @@) and doesn't require long-term commitment, it's tough. *sigh* So my life pretty revolves around me waking up, eating, sleeping ,using the computer. Pretty much like Shintaro from Kagerou Project. Except I do go out sometimes, and he doesn't. >< But he has a very sad reason why he stayed at home and never went out. T_T

Anyway, I still have a couple of things on my mind. Which I will probably post later, or tomorrow. But this post is long enough because of the rant above(if you click it anyway), so I will end off for now.

Plus I need to search for a blogskin for this blog hahaha.